You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you. - Augustine
a bit of “unschooling” here this week
just a page or two of math each day and the oldest is working piece by piece on her first “research” paper (“Dad, it is going to be two whole pages.” ~smile~)
filling in the rest of our days with these plans: valentines and baking, drawing birds and playing games, lunch out and a library trip, a swim at the Y and…other adventures yet to be discovered…
Recent readings in Matthew have me pondering what it looks like to live as though I have a master, a King…
because I do.
This life I’ve been given, these resources, these responsibilities, are not mine to choose to spend and use (or disregard) as I wish or believe best.
I have a Master – a wonderful, generous, loving, righteous Master, but a Master just the same.
His wishes and His purposes should be at the forefront and the very center of what I do. His authority is to influence every part of my life.
What motivates my mothering? The Master’s desires?
What is the most important factor when facing a decision? The King’s purposes?
My King has priorities. He expects His priorities to be mine as well. I am a servant entrusted with the responsibility of carrying out His will. The Word makes it clear that His priority is “the least of these.” So much do the hungry, thirsty, wandering, and imprisoned mean to His heart that to minister to one of them is to minister to the King Himself.
Am I sold out on the King’s priorities?
Somewhere along the way, we began using the language of kingship to talk to our kids about life with Jesus.
“To be a Christian means that you believe that Jesus died for your sins and that you have asked Him to be the King of your heart.”
Kings rule. They are to be revered and obeyed. Kids know about kings.
Do I?
“For from him and through him and to him are all things…”
A growing list of gifts and memories and
Grace I can see…
~lavender sky at sunrise
~Little Man’s infectious laughter – full belly laughs and out of control giggling and he couldn’t explain why
~a full weekend for my girl and knowing that I will have the weekdays with her
~the coming of a new one – dear friend expecting any day – anticipating tiny toes, tiny breaths
~my vacuuming man
~the first camp work night of the season, sitting across from each other at the kitchen table
~freedom to pray with honesty and with tears
~a God who rescues, hears and answers
…a box full of rice products!
“And I can eat this, and I can eat this, and I can eat this…”
This surprise package was a kind gift from the Lundberg family – rice farmers in Richvale, California who are related (second cousins? first cousin once removed? great aunt and uncle?) to Mark’s family. And now the kids finally believe that the man on the rice pasta box really is “Uncle Harlan”.
~smile~
Have a great weekend, friends! May we receive with gratitude and joy all that God gives – from the small and simple to the grand!
My heart has heard you say,
“Come and talk with me.”
And my heart responds,
“Lord, I am coming.” (Ps 27:8, NLT)
Rich words for a week in which I’ve sensed Him speaking into my prayer life from all directions.
“Whether we like it or not, asking is the rule of the Kingdom. If you may have everything by asking in His Name, and nothing without asking, I beg you to see how absolutely vital prayer is.” – Charles Spurgeon
“What victory the enemy has in winning us over to prayerlessness…He’d rather we do anything than pray…He’d rather see us study the Bible into the wee hours of the morning, because he knows we’ll never have deep understanding and power to live what we’ve learned without prayer.” – Beth Moore
“And Moses said, ‘…the LORD has heard your grumbling that you grumble against him— what are we? Your grumbling is not against us but against the LORD.’” (Ex 16:8)
Another’s grumbling is always more obvious. We don’t easily miss finding fault in the complaining hearts and attitudes of the Israelites.
But this morning I asked God to search my own grumbling heart.
When I complain of gray skies
or a tired body…
When I speak negatively about boy noises,
about all the needs and questions and interruptions that kids bring…
When I sigh about that which He, in His great wisdom and kindness, has assigned to me,
I am just like the grumbling Israelites.
There I am with my finger in the air accusing God Himself of error, foolishness, ill-motives…
When I am tempted to think, grumble, carry on in this way, I would do best to stop and seriously consider the question:
“Is the Lord among us or not?” (Ex 17:7b)
Yes. Yes He is.
So I will receive and welcome and rejoice in where He leads and what He gives each day.
“And Moses said to the people, “Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians who you see today, you shall never see again. The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” (Ex 14:13-14)
Though faced with a very real enemy,
(…one who stalks about like a lion looking for someone to devour, whose aim is to steal, kill, and destroy, who masquerades as an angel of light, who blinds eyes and hearts from seeing Truth, and hides his viciousness with lies…)
I need not fear.
Instead, I worship.
Filled with adoration and deep gratitude for the One who fights for me…fights for you.
Indeed, He fights for those who are not even aware of the very real battle.
“The Lord is a warrior. Yahweh is his name.” (Ex 15:3)
The words of Psalm 25 became a prayer for my camper friend..
“Turn to her and be gracious, Lord. She is lonely and afflicted, the troubles of her heart so large. Bring her out of her distress. Forgive. Guard. Deliver. Let her not be put to shame. Instead, let her take refuge in You. Redeem her, O God.”
But even as I prayed, I was reminded of Jesus word’s in Matthew and humbled by my lack of faith that He would answer and act.
“Truly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ it will happen. And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith”
I am a hesitant asker. My prayers lack boldness and expectancy.
In Matthew 20, Jesus hears the two blind men’s request for mercy but then He asks them, “What do you want me to do for you?” It seems He was looking for and pointing out the importance of a specific request. He wanted them to ask.
In all of this, I am convicted to ask for something specific for my camper friend – and to ask with boldness and with faith.
So I am asking (would you ask with me?)…
Lord, free her from the frequent outbursts of anger and aggression that prevent her from moving forward. Send the peace of Christ to RULE in her heart.
“The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want.”
Thursday’s story…
The pull of wanting is strong…
warmer temperatures
sunnier skies
a greater eagerness in my students
more energy
perhaps a cook…and a maid…
“If only…”
Then to the front of mind comes the day’s bread, living and active.
And I say the words to my heart and mind, talking to myself again (~smile~) -
The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want…
The Lord is my shepherd. I have everything I need…
My feelings aren’t easily convinced. The wanting doesn’t suddenly disappear. But Truth is Truth even when feelings don’t follow.
Truth remains. So even in the middle of the wanting, I can know that my wanting, wandering heart won’t always feel so far away.
So I say what’s true…I have everything I need…and I wait.
And while I wait for my heart to be led back home, I have to smile.
He did it again – reminded me of Truth, spoke to my heart, applied the balm of His Word to the wound of the day.
And that is why this matters so much to me. Through this daily intake of the Word, He walks with me, speaks to me, feeds and protects and provides. He shepherds me with Truth. And my prayer is that these stories of how He shepherds me might encourage you to keep seeking Him in His Word. May you experience Him walking with you this weekend…Ask Him to speak, put yourself in position to hear
praying for you,
Jennie
At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, ”Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. (Mt 18:1-4)
Each evening the question is the same. Pajamas on, teeth brushed, maybe a story, a song, or just a chat. Finally, a prayer and hugs. I turn toward the door – ready, waiting…
“Mama?”
“Yes…”
“What are we doing tomorrow?”
She always asks. Always.
And why not? I am the one in charge of the daily parade. Chores, lessons, free time, outings, special activities. These all occur under my lead. I am the Mama, director of each day. And she is the child. She comes with ideas and wishes which are often granted, but she is quite content to live each day under her mother’s lead – the one whose methods and plans she has come to trust.
“…turn and become like children…”
It’s just a simple thought, but He brought it to mind as I considered the example of humility evident in the lives of my own children.
I think I am so in charge of my days. I choose my activities, plan my time, use my resources – not with humility but with an air of authority.
I wonder if He’s waiting for me to ask the question.
“Abba?…What are we doing tomorrow?”
Because of His grace...daughter of my King, wife to my hero, and mama to my three. Seeking to give my heart fully to Him in all these endeavors...
