Yesterday my husband gave an unexpected gift – a quiet afternoon at home.   Seeing ice and snow predicted for the following days, he decided to take the kids out to complete the last of the Christmas errands.

I drank deep of the quiet, packaged up gifts for the neighbors, and baked the special breakfast treat that we will eat on Christmas morning.

I dream of spending all of December that way – restful and yet productive afternoons at home, carols quietly playing in the background, children happily busying themselves with Christmas crafts, and ending each day with thoughtful advent devotions.

But December doesn’t go this way – at least not most days.   And the more it doesn’t, the more frustrated I become.

There are some here who like to “go” so I have to give a little to the going and the gathering and the bustling that drains me but rejuvenates them.  My picture of a perfect Christmas season doesn’t always match theirs.  Where did that picture come from anyway?  The disappointment and the failure I feel this time of year is so often connected to self-imposed larger than life expectations of what Christmas should be.

Mary must have had her own struggles with expectations.  Before the angel visited, before everything changed, there must of been dreams –  dreams of being a bride, of one day sharing the joy with her husband that a life was growing within, of family gathered and rejoicing over the birth of a first child.

But her dreams were not His plans.  She wasn’t the bride she had pictured, news of a child growing within wasn’t exactly celebrated, and the birth – I doubt she ever dreamed of a barn miles away from home.

Yet all this was His dream, His perfect plan, the Divine Expectation that He had been longing to fulfill.

I marvel at His ways.  I think of her and I remember to let go, to let these days come as He has ordained, to receive what He gives instead of pushing for what He hasn’t promised, to say with her,

“I am the Lord’s servant.  May it be to me as you have said.”

I trust that He will fulfill all His dreams for you and yours this Christmas.  I pray joy and peace and courage for you.  May you marvel in the precious secret – Christ with us, Christ in you, the hope of glory!

with love in Him,

Jennie

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At the top of my gift list from this weekend…

Little Man’s frosted gingerbread cookies*

Milk free
Butter/Margarine free
Soy free
Nut free
Egg free
Wheat free

“Mama, I neber eber had frosting before…MMMmm…it tastes like marshmallows!”

*substituted palm oil shortening for butter and egg replacer for egg

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In honor of this snow day (an introvert’s delight), a snow day tutorial…

(yes, it’s messy…perhaps more for the 6 and up crowd…our little man participated with lots of help from Mama)

(we tried both black printed onto white and white printed onto black…ended up liking the white paint best…)


Inspired by the illustrations in A Christmas like Helen’s…which led us to discover more about woodcuts…which led us to wonder if we could do something similar…which led me to carving up the styrofoam tray that the broccoli came on right in the middle of dinner preparation the other night…which led my sunshine girl to wonder why I was cooking dinner and painting at the same time when she arrived home from ballet…

We revisited last year’s Christmas craft project during yesterday’s snow day – simple, fun, and now the wrapping of cousin presents is done ~smile~

Blessings,

Jennie

p.s.  opening the comments – in case you have a question or just want to say hello…even an introvert needs a friendly wave now and then…


A number of days passed with little writing – little in this space and little in my personal journal.  Maybe I was afraid of the words that might end up on the page or screen.  Mind and heart were lost in a sort of fog and weariness.  It wasn’t a case of zero visibility.  Every now and then I’d catch a clear view through the clouds, but later found myself once again disoriented inside that fog.

My sister-in-law calls it “a funk.”  When we each had a boy in the toddler phase, one would often wake from his afternoon nap all out of sorts and grumpy.  ”He woke up in a funk,” we’d say.  It might take awhile – a snack and thirty minutes of Raffi in concert before my little man’s disposition would improve.  ”He’s coming out of a funk,” we’d say.

So I’ve had my own funk to fight the last week or so.

Humbled by my irritable, grumpy flesh, my wandering, irrational mind, and my confused and whimpering heart.  Frustrating to be at the end of me for no apparent reason – no sufferings, trials, or hardships to blame.

And I’m always wanting something or someone to blame.  (So I put the love and patience of my hero to the test)

But in the end, it’s just that me without Jesus can’t cut it.  As many times as I try, the result will always be the same – flat on my face, dazed, and no hope of getting up.

But then He comes and finds me lying there.  He looks past the ugly whining and the self-pity and speaks life:

“I will make you my wife forever, showing you righteousness and justice, unfailing love and compassion.  I will be faithful to you and make you mine, and you will finally know me as the LORD.”  Hosea 2:19-20

Abba, sometimes I get lost in the fog, caught in a funk, and I’m not sure who I am or how to get a hold of my own heart and mind.  But then You come and say, “Never mind, child.  I will make you mine.”

~a few thoughts on gratitude that have spurred my heart on towards Thanksgiving…

Giving thanks encourages a posture of humility…

I am a recipient.  When I say thank you, I remind myself over and over again that I am the receiver and not the reason for all that I have and all that I am.

Giving thanks is an expression of trust…

All that is given, each circumstance faced, or even endured, comes from His hand for His purposes.  When I say thank you, I stop seeing myself as a victim and instead see the great honor and privilege of my position – esteemed and cradled in the hand of the sovereign God.

Giving thanks is a declaration of value and worth…

God’s workings in my life – down to the smallest details of every good and perfect gift He gives each day - matter!  They are perfect investments, wisely given.  When I say thank you, I am recognizing the value of each gift and the great worth of the Giver.

“Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours.  Yours, O Lord is the kingdom; you are exalted as head over all.  Wealth and honor come from you; you are the ruler of all things.  In your hands are strength and power to exalt and give strength to all.  Now, our God, we give you thanks, and praise your glorious name.” (1 Chronicles 29:11-13)

photo:  our garland of thanks and praise

 

Making the prayer at the end of Hebrews my own…

God of peace, equip me with all I need for doing your will.  Produce in me, through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to you.

Too often there is a message playing in my mind that says, “Do more.  Be more.  You are not enough.”

Do you know that message?  Does it get stuck on repeat in your mind too?

And as it repeats, it becomes a weight pushing down, pushing under.

 

But He doesn’t push down.  He lifts up – the Lifter of my head and the One who daily bears my burdens…

 

I can count on Him to equip me with what I need (not what I think I need) to do His will (not every imaginable calling, mission, or good deed that I think I should do).  And He will produce in me through the power of Jesus (not through my efforts, my straining, my will power) the good things that are pleasing to Him.

 

He is enough – and I am enough because He is.

All glory to him forever and ever!  Amen.  (Hebrews 13:21b)

“…he persevered because he saw him who is invisible.”  Hebrews 11:27

from John Piper:  ”How shall we fight for joy? …Realize that the battle is primarily a fight to see God for who He is.”

Abba, thank you…for…

~the weakness of my flesh, for ups and downs that make me so aware of my need for you.

~promises that I can be sure of, lean hard into

~acceptance, encouragement, and grace from my hero and best friend

~a big brother’s kindness and the value the little man feels because of that kindness

~the grand excitement that a trip to the library stirs up around here

~short walks in brisk November air – the wise advice of aforementioned hero and best friend

~”By day the Lord directs His love, at night His song is with me….”(Ps 42)

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He has made everything beautiful… (Ecc 3:11)


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Isn’t He beautiful?

Beautiful, isn’t He?


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Prince of peace, Son of God.

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Isn’t He, isn’t He…

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Isn’t He wonderful?

Wonderful, isn’t He?

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Counselor, Almighty God.

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Isn’t He, isn’t He…

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One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek:  that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple.  (Ps 27:4)

photos:  a visual gift list from Desoto National Wildlife Refuge – with heartfelt thanks to the Giver and to the friend who takes me on field trip adventures I’d never attempt on my own…Where should we go next?
Would you like to worship with me through that beautiful old chorus?  Click to listen on YouTube

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“So there is a special rest still waiting for the people of God.” Hebrews 4:9

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

“…He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” Ecc 3:11

The rest He promises is the rest I desire.

He has programmed that into our hearts.

No wonder I long for it, dream of it, and sense glimpses of it in the beauty and redeeming moments of life here and now.

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There is rest now and there is a rest still waiting.

How great is His goodness stored up for those who fear Him…

photos:  bed of leaves in Nebraska City and the trees that gave the bed…

Hi friends,

A quiet week in this space because the rest of life has been so full.  My hero returns this evening from a week away.  Kids are waiting anxiously for hugs and wrestles and to share a thousand stories.  I’ll gladly shrink into the background when he arrives. ~smile~

I’ve used up all my words for the week, but here are a few photos of His beauty and a few words from His truth from today’s reading in the One Year Bible…so precious that these familiar words of hope are actually nestled right in the middle of  a book of grief.  It’s what He does – brings Light to darkness, Hope to a mess.  He Redeems…

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The faithful love of the Lord never ends!

His mercies never cease.

Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.

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I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!”

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The Lord is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him.

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So it is good to wait quietly for salvation from the Lord.

Lamentations 3:22-26

photos:  from a weekend retreat in Nebraska City – thank you, my kindred friend…and the sky He painted for us on the drive home

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Because of His grace...daughter of my King, wife to my hero, and mama to my three. Seeking to give my heart fully to Him in all these endeavors...

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