Much joy!
Much song!
Much legos!
With much gratitude to the Giver of the greatest gift…
Merry Christmas, friends! May you see and celebrate Jesus in it all!
love ~ Jennie
“When the LORD brought back the captives to Zion, we were like men who dreamed. Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, ‘The LORD has done great things for them.’ The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.” (Ps 126:1-3)
It’s 6:00 a.m. The room is dark, the bed warm. He’s checking his phone “32 degrees. We can do it. No problem.” he teases. I moan and tell him I’m just going to run on the treadmill at the Y. I pull myself out of bed and go to the window.
“The tops of the trees are swaying a bit – looks windy.”
“Yep.”
How is it that he can be so friendly and pleasant from the moment he gets out of bed? Fourteen years. He’s always been this way. He’s gotten used to my morning sighs and silence. Space please. In our first apartment – a one bedroom – I found a corner of the living room for my morning quiet and turned my face to the wall. It took him awhile to understand that even his presence in the room was a bother.
So he knows better than to try and convince me, but he’s putting on his warm gear. And I know I’d rather run with him and outdoors is better, but the trees are swaying and it’s dark and it’s 32 degrees…
“Oh, all right.”
He’s won me over again. I put on the layers, head downstairs for shoes, gloves, and the crazy hat with the face shield attached.
The wind pushes hard as we turn north and up the first incline. On the northern edge of the neighborhood 32 feels like 20. But I’m there and he’s beside me and we can make this good.
We turn south again and start making plans for adjusting our route – how to avoid that wind.
Running south and lower, we find a sheltered loop and run it a couple times.
“Ready to pray?” He asks.
My crazy face mask is gross now, damp with breath, drips from cold nose, sweat. From under it, I pant out, “Sure.”
He knows he’d better start. We’re on an uphill. But I’m learning – to pray with him, between breaths, with eyes open – getting stronger.
When the street levels out again, I take a turn.
I ask God for laughter.
I’ve never been a comedian and “reserved” is certainly on the list of adjectives others might use to describe me.
But I tell God how I want to be like the captives brought back to Zion. I am a captive brought back. So I ask Him, in short breaths, cold wind pressing, “Lord, fill my mouth with laughter, my tongue with songs of joy.”
Mark agrees, thanking God for joy and asking God for a house and a life and a heart filled with joy.
A few days later, we’re riding home from the Y after an early morning treadmill run. He looks over at me in the passenger seat and smiles.
“You laughed a lot yesterday – just wanted to tell you that…”
“You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.”
“Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise…”
From the middle of the kitchen I can listen to little man’s number sentences about the 4 white helicopters and the 1 blue helicopter while I coach camper friend through the banana muffin making process. She’s not so familiar with this juggling act so there is no pause button. Little man wonders why 4 + 1 is 2.
“No, 2 eggs,” I tell him. ”You’re right – 5 helicopters. What’s the next one?”
“Now what?”
“Crack the eggs into that bowl. J, three white chickens plus…”
Enter Simon. ”Mom, can I tell you about Henry Longfellow now?”
This middle of the kitchen dance is getting complicated. But I smile, get down next to him and say it soft (so as not to confuse the muffin maker and mathematician), “That looks like a great outline, Buddy. Can we sit down and talk about Henry Longsworth, I mean Wadsworth Longfellow in a little bit?”
“Sure.”
So the dance continues. The music coming from the schoolroom is Bach, but in my heart I sing back words from the morning’s reading in Revelation.
Lord, You are worthy. You are worthy of glory and honor and praise.
You are worthy of baking lessons and word problems and poetry. So I’ll dance and juggle and give what I can. I’ll give a gracious reply and ask for forgiveness when I don’t. I’ll wait for anger to pass and keep on loving. I’ll try again and tell him I’m sorry for the irritated tone. I’ll sit at the piano with a frustrated child and hold a crying one on my lap.
Because You are worthy.
Later, there is dinner and dishes, a Christmas letter to finish and presents to wrap.
I tell Him again, “Lord, You are worthy. YOU are worthy.”
And it helps.
Friends, may we give it all and do it all for the Worthy One today…
Love you ~ Jennie
I almost missed it.
The snow. The wet. The cold.
No snow pants. No boots.
No thanks.
“I despise the snow and cold,” I said.
But he smiled, “It’s up to you.”
Then they marveled, “You’re coming, Mom?”
And I saw every smile, every crazy run, laughed and cheered and loved every minute.
Didn’t miss a thing.
“In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance than can never perish, spoil or fade – kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time…”
Could it be that many times what my eyes see stands in stark contrast to the reality of what is really there?
I see browns and dense fog. He sees the coming of multiple shades of green.
Living Hope.
I see a heart crushed by loss, ravaged by sin, closed to Life, and He sees the Spirit’s breath chipping away at a heart of stone…
Living Hope.
His name is Jesus.
Thankful…
“One of the sure signs that we have not really understood the gospel is when we continue to be afraid of, discouraged by, and unwilling to accept our weakness. Christ came precisely because we are weak!
There is no indication in Scripture that we will ever outgrow our need of his moment-by-moment supply of grace. If we obey him for a thousand years, we will need him just as much then as we did the first day we believed!
…Our weakness will not get in the way of what the Lord wants to do in us. Our delusions of strength will! The power of God is for the weak! The grace of God is for the unable! The promises of God are for the faint! The wisdom of God if for the foolish!
…Embrace your weakness and run with joy to the only Source of strength.”
-Paul David Tripp, War of Words
I come hesitantly to the day’s Old Testament reading.
My spirit’s felt a bit tender, frail – carrying a weight of guilt He probably doesn’t intend for me to hold. So I’m not so sure – about reading rebukes, again facing the facts about my idolatrous heart and prostitution to other loves. I’ve felt shame over sin and I’ve worn disgrace and I know.
I know. I’ve gone my own way. I’ve turned my back. I’ve made a mess. I’ve ignored my Creator – all that Ezekiel says. I know.
And sometimes I forget. I forget when I’m reading the Old that He has made me New – that now I wear the righteousness of Christ.
I step carefully into Ezekiel, not wanting to feel the prick of condemnation on my already burdened heart. I skim and He speaks softly.
You are washed in the blood, child. Yes, this is what you were, but I came and I covered and you are forgiven, free.
I nod, walk further in – looking for that, for Him.
There among the wrath for the arrogant, the scorning of the vile and the consequences for the wicked, I find.
He remembers.
And He knows - that we are dust and we are hopeless and we can’t do a thing about it, but He will.
I will remember the covenant I made with you…and I will establish an everlasting covenant with you…
Thus says the Lord GOD: ”I myself will take a sprig from the lofty top of the cedar and will set it out. I will break off from the topmost of its young twigs a tender one, and I myself will plant it on a high and lofty mountain. On the mountain height of Israel will I plant it, that it may bear branches and produce fruit and become a noble cedar. And under it will dwell every kind of bird; in the shade of its branches birds of every sort will nest. And all the trees of the field shall know that I am the LORD; I bring low the high tree, and make high the low tree, dry up the green tree, and make the dry tree flourish. I am the LORD; I have spoken, and I will do it.” (Ez 17:22-24)
For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more. (Jer 31:34)
